silversora:

Allergies are weird as heck. You can snap a humans leg in half and they can recover but if you eat this peanut u dead

based on Anja's lovely poem here

princesslibrarian:

you think you’re a better kisser than me??? you think you’re a better cuddler? come over here and prove it punk

brttny32194:

but why do i say “i know” to my pets when they make noises. im lying to them. i don’t know anything.

religiousmom:

lacey underwear makes me feel powerful and unstoppable

  • me: *gets good grade on a test*
  • me: *does the rei laugh*
  • me: *gets bad grade on a test*
  • me: *does the rei scream*

hamishwatson:

yes hello 911 i’m being forced into adulthood and i don’t like it send help

fullmetalnoodlist:

real gamers eat their video games

EH